I talked to a friend the other day about success, and she said that she has been frustrated by how she has always defined success. Her definition was someone who was entrepreneurial, or someone who has clear focus and determination to start something big. I spoke to another friend about success just before that and she said that she feels unsuccessful because she doesn’t have enough money to move out of her parent’s house yet. And even before that, a friend told me he feels unsuccessful because his photos don’t always come out how he hopes.

The problem is not that we have hopes and dreams, it is that we measure those hopes and dreams against how someone else has defined success. And the funny thing is, that definition will always change. We will agree with some people and disagree with others. We will form our own opinions and those opinions will change. We constantly chase those new definitions, and we constantly change them.

What if we stopped thinking about success at all? What if we took that out of the equation? That is a very difficult thing to do in the society we live in. People are constantly flaunting their success on the internet. Magazines feature the “most beautiful people” on their covers. We watch reality TV shows and wonder why our lives aren’t so amazing. We constantly compare, and at the heart of those comparisons is the basic question: Who is more successful? Me or them?

Who cares about success? When all is said and done, and we’ve gone to our graves, no one cares about how much money you had, or how famous you were, or anything else for that matter. You are the only one living life every single day, every single moment, with yourself. You are your best ally and friend. You are the one who is going to get up in the morning, try hard, and go to sleep at night. So erase the word “success” from your vocabulary and try replacing it with something more productive: happiness, for example. Or love. Or meaning. Or…Anything at all.

Because we don’t have the time to waste on thinking about something so intangible and destructive. Success is a word that inherently means competition and comparison. The only reason we understand how to measure success in society is because we are fed a daily dose of news about who is successful and who is not, and we are taught to judge those people based on that. From there we are taught to be those people, and to strive for more, and to allow success to define who we are.

Focus on bliss.

Follow your bliss, as Joseph Campbell would say.

Find what it is that makes you whole, and become that.
Chase it.
Let it fill you.